The Story So Far

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about what went down in San Vansterdam this week: M-Corp, the city’s corporate overlords, are now the city’s former corporate overlords.

Just in case you have been rock-dwelling and don’t get how huge this news is, here’s a little backstory: during San Van’s boom period in the 1980s, a multinational investment conglomerate known as “M-Corp” (though I think they went by another name back in the day) started investing heavily in the city and, eventually, through a combination of deep pockets, influence, campaigns, and corruption †, managed to take over the place. It quickly became apparent that M-Corp had a single priority: profit. Over the following long and painful decades, their growth-at-all-costs approach throttled the city’s once thriving creative and collective spirit. Fun and self-expression became a thing of the past. Skateboarding? Forget about it. If it wasn’t filling M-Corp’s coffers, it was out.

† The fine folks at SV Legal would like us to state that any mention of alleged corruption or otherwise illegal activity is merely speculation.

Fast-forward to 2024, and it looks like M-Corp’s “alleged” misdeeds have finally caught up to them and, despite what Kook of The Castle Richie Dandle has been saying, it’s over for M-Corp and their reign of terrible vest.

That brings us to today and what comes next: a new era for San Vansterdam. Those guys made a serious mess, so things are a little nuts around here, but with the help of some old friends — and you — we’re confident we’ll be able to right the ship and get the city ready, (and knob-free!) for visitors in no time.

- Sammy (and friends)

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